Crap English, as spoken by native speakers of English

Native speakers of English often complain about "foreigners" who don't English properly.

This gem, comes from the a colleague of mine, a "Kiwi"...

My colleague was looking at a report that had landed on her desk. After a couple of minutes of looking at the report, she started complaining about the contents, but admitted that she hadn´t "looked at it through a toothbrush"!