Crap English as spoken by native speakers of English

Commenting on political sanctions New Zealand has placed on Fiji, in response to the military coup in December 2006, one forum contributor to the TV3 news website wrote:

"Political pontifacting (sic) again.Just chop off giving them OUR taxpayers money,any figis (sic) in NZ on welfare sent (sic) them packing with 1 way ticket,end of storey (sic)."

Good on you, Bruce.

Good Schools, Bad Schools

I've worked for a number of language institutes, and been for a fair few interviews with others over the years.

Some of the institutes I went for interviews with were so dodgy, I almost laughed in their faces. Others were a little less dodgy, an a few were pretty straight.

Read my observations here.

Another thing that smegs me off

Students who arrive late to class (10,15, 20 or even 30 minutes late), and expect it to not be a problem.

What's smegging me off today

I'm smegged off with teachers who flirt with the students.

Hypocracy

I had a all staff meeting at 7 o'clock this morning, and one of the themes the director talked about was starting the classes on time. Cool, I have no problem with that, as I am probably one of the most punctual teachers in the centre.

The meeting was supposed to finish at 8 o'clock, in time for classes to start, but only one quarter of the teachers who had classes at this time were ready to start. The remainder, including the Manager, were either chatting in the meeting room, or having a smoke.

Smegged off? You bet!